I used to be an extremely over analytical type of woman until I took time to self-reflect and question my life choices. I often questioned myself as to whether I was going crazy and felt like sh*t after dating someone or while dating someone. Then I came to the conclusion that maybe I was over analyzing what men would tell me. Over analyzing is exhausting and time consuming. You read dating/relationship blogs, magazines, and maybe even Psychology Today articles to try to get the answer when usually the answer is simple. Stop driving yourself crazy and believing men speak in code. Men aren’t women, so we can’t think that they think like us.
I moved for a new job and in the process, I broke up with my boyfriend Mr. Jetsetter . I don’t think I’ve felt this bad in my life. Not even all the moving or bad families I lived with when I was a little girl. It feels like my heart was broken into a million pieces. Did I make the right decision? There was a major reason why I broke up with Mr. Jetsetter. I won’t open that wound. Sometimes people make bad maybe unforgivable/unforgettable decisions/mistakes. I can’t live without him.
Am I afraid for the future? Am I afraid that 10 years into a marriage, he will regret not being able to have dated other women before committing? I think many of us have the some of those fears. Did I give up too quickly? Maybe. If I have doubts, then maybe it wasn’t the right decision. Was it? What do you think?
Until next time,
What is up with guys that do not have the balls to say “I’m not into you” or they are not able to be straightforward, have trouble with feelings, or they do not know how to communicate well.
Mr. Commitmentphobe pulled a new one and gave me the cliché of “it’s not you, it’s me and I want to see other people (and me), “we chatted and talked but not as much. We did not hang out/see each other for 3 months. I thought in those 3 months he would figure his “sh*t out” but he did not. He became selfish. He used to make a real effort to text and call me, unless it was just part of the charm to see if he could really get me, I doubt he would fake and put on a charm though. He had made everything about me. He would volunteer to do things for me like fixing my messed up fan and even changing it out. He was like me in that sense of doing stuff for someone you learned to care about. Maybe that is when he fell for me but remained in denial due to cynicism from his past relationships that did not work out.
I had an inkling about something being up. My intuition is usually right about things in life. He said needed to sort things out.
Did I push too much to be in an actual relationship? I mean he’s the one that was rushing things the first 3 months. Then he has the nerve to play with my emotions and pull the rug from under me. I was cynical in the beginning, that it was too good to be true and i just went with the flow of things. I thought we were on the same page, he freaked out, and then took it very slow.
I know what I need and deserve. Yet, maybe I am settling in unhappiness. I was only unhappy that he did not “feel worthy enough” to be with only me. When did he realize that maybe he wasn’t worthy? Have you ever had a guy pull that on you?
So It’s been six months since I’ve been “talking” to Mr. Commitmentphobe and he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. Instead he said, “We are moving too fast. I need space.” Excusez-moi?
I need space means I need some space. Right? How much space does a person need? I asked him just that. He said, “I’m too much in my head.” He’s the one that sped things up from leaving clothes at my apartment, taking me to meet his best friends, etc., Shouldn’t have brought that up 3 months ago? Am I in the right or wrong?