I still haven’t heard much from Mr. Commitmentphobe. We text every so often. It’s mostly lame texts like “I’m okay. Still in my head.” I wonder if his feelings for me are changing and he is not interested or he’s not seeing me because he has moved on and does not want to hurt my feelings anymore. He’s repeatedly said that he doesn’t want to hurt me. Then again I know that he has told me that he’s been blue for those 3 months and nothing has seemed to help. It’s been way, way, way too long of space. I mean how much space does one need? I don’t know. I’m not going to try to wrap my head around that. I’ve thought about all the situations of what’s going on but he won’t talk to me about it. So it’s pretty hopeless and pointless at this point.
It was hard the first few months of not seeing or talking to him but slowly it’s getting easier. But I’m not completely over him. Yeah, I know. It’s getting easier but at times, it isn’t. I guess I just don’t understand. There are times when I’m thinking that I should remain alone. I’m better off alone. But I miss that human connection. I feel as if i’m going nuts! I don’t need someone to complete me. I just wish I had someone that was already complete that could love me like I’m the only girl in the world. I don’t know. Too much to ask?