Valentine’s Day sucks! I can’t help but be reminded I’m single. To think back about my relationship and how it was a really unhealthy. It was on and off. Mostly off. I wish I could go back to like the first few “dates” and tell myself to dump him. But it’s over. I have no feelings of anything other than anger at myself for being so dumb. It’s a part of life. We all make mistakes. We don’t weed out the bad apples all the time. We can get “tricked” by the guy and not see it until it’s too late. Not every guy out there is a trickster but they do exist.
So Mr. Freeloader was a guy that used me for pretty much anything and I allowed him. I felt pity for him, so I thought I could help him get his life together and I guess fix him (like he was a broken vase). Life Lesson: You can not fix people because you are not a doctor, etc.
After I finally decided that I had enough. I broke it off. He went crazy and I feared for my life but we both moved on. He had moved on while “dating” me with some girl he got pregnant. Oh and he was doing lots of cocaine apparently.
Anyways, after that ended. I still hold some resentment and anger. I’m working on letting that go completely. But we are all works in progress, aren’t we? Can this year be the year of letting go of the past?