I was the “black sheep” of a family I lived with, let’s just say the things I went through as a little girl, no little girl should have to go through. When I became old enough and the toxicity was too much, I decided emancipation was probably the going to be the best decision in my life. By the way, It was! I had me, myself, and I plus my besties, whom I consider my family. I’ve always been independent and I needed to separate myself from a bad people and a bad home. Forgiving and forgetting is a slow process. We are all flawed humans.
I have been slowly trying to let go of the things in my past that I keep in the back of my mind. Letting go is not easy. I realize that I need to stop feeling like a victim and more of a survivor. Yes, bad things happened. People hurt me. People I thought I loved hurt me. In my mind, I always kept asking “why?” But answers aren’t always there. We make mistakes, more times than not we repeat the same mistakes over and over again. It’s all a vicious cycle.
Most of us expect some sort of closure. “I’m sorry for hurting you, etc.…” Sadly we don’t always get that closure. I know I won’t. I can go tell the person, “WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?” They might not remember, blame me, or try to brush off. They may react in so many different ways.
I will forgive them and forget what they did. But I’m setting boundaries. Is that a grudge? I don’t think so. People are capable of many things. We all know that. I would rather treat people that were in my life with respect, dignity, and civility.
Maybe I’m being naive. But I won’t let people walk all over me. I’m just saying that I personally won’t be getting to close to these people. That’s my way of dealing with it. What are your ways of dealing with forgiving and forgetting?